For those women who may be reading this, let me take a moment to explain “The Move.” Men know exactly what their bowels are up to at any given second. And when the time comes to empty the cache, a sequence of physiological events occur that can not be stopped under any circumstances. There is a move men make that involves simultaneously approaching the toilet, beginning the body turn to position ones ass toward said toilet, hooking ones fingers into ones waistline, and pulling down the pants while beginning the squat at the same time. It is a very fluid motion that, when performed properly, results in the flawless expulsion of shit at the exact same second that one’s ass is properly placed on the toilet seat. Done properly, it even assures that the choad is properly inserted into the front rim of the toilet in the event that the piss stream lets loose at the same time; it is truly a picture of coordination rivaling that of a skilled ballet dancer.

From The Ryan’s Steakhouse Story.

A must read ^_^

Life Path

You are capable of making large amounts of money, but also capable of spending it all just as fast. As you are not very materially minded you are not necessarily concerned about this but your carefree attitude about money often alarms your family and business associates.

Your tendency to live for today and not for tomorrow is a blessing as well as curse for you as you journey along your life path. The drawback of this is that you are easily distracted from your responsibilities.

Expression

You are a peace loving, harmonious individual who is a natural born diplomat. You detest conflict and will bend over backwards to make others happy. The ultimate height of your personal self expression is healing. Nothing gives you more satisfaction then knowing you have corrected a situation that was whirling out of balance.

You express who you are by caring for others. This is why so many sixes are doctors, healers, counselors, psychologists, policeman and therapists. Your philosophy usually relates to the idea that the world can be healed of all its ills if we heal one person at a time.

You have a brilliant, creative mind and many different talents but chances are you will forsake a career in the limelight to work in humble, yet helpful occupations. You are quite philosophical and believe that one should sacrifice oneself for the good of all.

You excel at making others feel good about themselves and have the ability to instill new hope in lost hearts with a kind touch or wise words. You are also a very affectionate person and comfort others with your easygoing nature. Others are attracted by your empathy and your friends often seek you out for advice.

Soul Urge

You are usually a dreamer rather than a doer and best suit an occupation that allows you to sit and conceptualize to your heart’s desire. Money means nothing to you as all of your riches come from books and learning however many of you often end up in well paid positions simply because you are brilliant and excel in school.

As you are so helpless socially and often unkempt personally as well, one of your greatest wishes is that someone will come along and take care of you. As you are so charming and humble in a mysterious way you usually luck out in the romance department. You have a knack for attracting individuals who need to feel special by being aligned with someone special and your eccentricities certainly fit the bill.

Your tendency to isolate yourself can also lead to distorted perceptions of reality and cognitive disorders such as obsessive compulsion and paranoia. It is a number 7 who is most likely to develop an obsession with a celebrity or create a conspiracy theory. Those are extreme examples but you need to realize that you are only human and that a lack of human contact and especially affection can distort your personality in unpleasant and unproductive ways.

You may also have a tendency to get stuck on one person whether the love is requited or not. You may idealize this person and see them as a symbol rather than who they really are. In romance, you really do need to watch a tendency to project the qualities of a god or goddess on a quite ordinary person.

http://www.123numerology.com/

NOT!

Thanks to Mela and Pao for telling me the way to happiness.

I am now in possession of Travis’ Hit Me Baby One More Time cover MP3.

Mwahahaha.

Actually, I also have Bowling for Soup’s version, but it turns out it was Travis’ version that I heard on the radio.

What’s the Q-tip method? Well. Are you sitting down? Good. Essentially, you take a cotton swab, insert it into the cat’s vagina, and gently rotate it to gain the desired effect: kitty orgasm.

from: http://www.sff.net/people/lucy-snyder/brain/2005/07/cats-in-heat.html>

…for making my day. XD

Inspite of a friend’s casual remarks that pissed me off and hurt me terribly, Christmas was still fabulous.